Once we started backpacking together, a few things became pretty clear. My wife tends to look down on the trail, exploring flowers, rocks, funghi and animal scat with great interest. And I tend to look up on the trail, trying to catch sight of peaks, passes, and possible a trout stream or lake. It makes us a pretty good combination on the trail. Between the two of us, we don't miss much!
We work as a team in the campsite, as well. I generally sets up the tent, while my wife manages more of the kitchen. And in the morning, we work together to get everything packed up and on the trail. Some days I pump the water because I am packed first, sometimes that falls to my wife if she gets her pack loaded up before me.
And speaking of loading up the pack, we do try to share the load. I am bigger, and stronger, so I carry more weight. On a recent four-day trip to the John Muir Wilderness, I carried about 30 pounds total, and my wifey was carrying about 20--those weights include some water for the trail in each pack. We think that's about fair, because I weigh a lot more than my wife...and we are each carrying roughly the same weight in terms of a percentage of our body weight: between 15 and 18%.
We each carry our own clothes, sleeping bag, and pads. The big difference is that I carry the tent and food, while my wife carries the cook pot and kitchen.
Of course, as the trip goes on, we eat a lot of the food, so my pack gets lighter. That's when I start putting other things into the bear canister, like the gas for the stove, or some other part of our kitchen. And I've been known to carry more of the water, as well.
That way we each feel the benefits of the lighter load on the last couple of days of the trip.
It's not a perfect system, but it works for us. Got a better one?
Check our our website: http://www.backpackthesierra.com/
Or just read a good mystery novel set in the Sierra; https://www.amazon.com/Danger-Falling-Rocks-Paul-Wagner/dp/0984884963